The Virus In All Of Us

It is friday. And I am sick.

Being sick does funny things to me. The sickness in this instance is a cold. That makes the medicine these off-brand liquid gel caps. Which I love. I guess it's these amazing little caplets that make being sick funny, and not the actual blahs themselves.

Perception becomes a bit distorted under their wonderful influence. I feel like everyone has something incredibly important to say, even if they're only making small talk. I feel like watching test screen patterns, or staring at those 3-D pictures that I haven't been able to see since the 8th grade when I got glasses. I feel like I could float away at any moment. I start to resent being tethered to the ground. And I also have a hard time thinking. Even simple tasks become downright confusing. I'm like Charlton Heston at the end of Bowling for Columbine. Except in my case it's more funny than sad and disturbing.

Yesterday, in spite of all this, I decided I needed to drive to Target. What makes that drive unique for me is that Target is two hours away. Oi! And the snow! It's everywhere. Which should make the drive even longer. But my special pills also rid me of anything resembling fear or self-survival. Fight or flight becomes sit down and day-dream. I'm invincible.

So I get to Target in one piece, and pull out this shopping list. I get what I need and go. Or at least I try. I notice I missed a few things. So I stop by K-Mart, which is on the way to Borders. I get what I need and go. Almost.

After a quick stop at Wal-Mart, I finally get to Borders. And just die for a couple hours. I'm sure I read things, because I was in there for a couple hours. Later, I stopped to get a coffee, asked for a double espresso for the ride home, then forgot to fill it up with actual coffee. I was out in my car before I noticed it, and too embarrassed to go back in and fill my cup. So I bought another cup at Barnes and Noble. Not before one last stop at Target to get a toothbrush.

Did I mention how sick I was?

One time, I really did find money on the ground. And I kept it. I think I spent it on an oil change.