Jesus is never mad with us if we live with him in our hearts.

There’s something so comforting about Taco Bell. Every time I eat real mexican food I think to myself, I’ll never eat Taco Bell again. But here I am, eating Taco Bell, and enjoying every bite. And since I have nothing better to do this late, here are things as they are, this week, last week, and everywhere else.

Then people will come to us and say, "That’s a badass bird." and then we'll say, "Thanks it’s a hawk." and they will say, "I know." and I will say, "Me too, I also know in addition to you" "Yes I know about your knowledge powers. They're legendary." "Yes I know its that way because I was born with these lips." "Yes, they say your real live lips are dipped in gold and scented with basil." "Actually they are scented with apples." "Oh they didn’t tell me." "Yes I know." and then we will give high fives and go about our business.

Republican Jesus knows that all homos are pedophiles, and want to get their hands all over little boys. And he definitely knows that if they start getting married, all the kids in America will automatically become homos and lesbians, and there will be gay sex everyone in America, even on PAX.

We are Unitarian Jihad. We will appear in public places and require people to shake hands with each other. (Sister Hand Grenade of Love suggested that we institute a terror regime of mandatory hugging, but her motion was not formally introduced because of lack of a quorum.) We will require all lobbyists, spokesmen and campaign managers to dress like trout in public. Televangelists will be forced to take jobs as Xerox repair specialists. Demagogues of all stripes will be required to read Proust out loud in prisons.

Brian McClaren: No, I'm not. I'm talking about not covering every square inch with houses and strip malls until you can't remember what happens when you stand in a meadow at dusk.
Youth Ministry Major: What happens in the meadow at dusk?
Brian McLaren: Everything.
Jim Dobson: Nothing.
Brian McLaren: Everything.
Jim Dobson: Nothing.
Brian McLaren: Everything.
Jim Dobson: Nothing.
Brian McLaren: It's beautiful.
Marky Mark: It's beautiful.

Fini